


Let Them Eat Pie

by josephina_x



Category: Smallville
Genre: (except sorta not), Birthday, Birthday Cake, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Nemesis-hood, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5159807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephina_x/pseuds/josephina_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex is having a bad day on his birthday. It gets better :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Them Eat Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tasabian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasabian/gifts).



> Title: Let Them Eat Pie  
> Author: [josephina_x](http://josephina-x.livejournal.com)  
> Fandom: Smallville  
> Pairing: Read to find out!  
> Rating: PG-13 (? -ish?)  
> Spoilers: mild through whole series  
> Word Count: >1500  
> Summary: Lex is having a bad day on his birthday. It gets better :)  
> Warnings: Unbeta'd.  
> Author's Note: Happy Birthday [tasabian](http://tasabian.livejournal.com)! And apologies for the delay -- dunno if this is ok enough to be a present, but I tried ^_^  
> Disclaimer; Not mine, not-for-profit.
> 
> Originally posted to LJ on 2011-07-09 here: [link](http://josephina-x.livejournal.com/3105.html).

~*~*~*~*~*~

Lex had not been having a very good birthday thus far. He'd had to field PR issues due to a board member's sexual proclivities towards a married man's spouse, which had resulted in getting said board member unceremoniously fired. It didn't help that it was a 'posthumous firing,' in the sense that the man had already run off to the Bahamas -- how passe -- with his lover, along with several million from the company coffers, nor did it help that the spouse in question was also male, thus causing all sorts of LGBT rights folks to come streaming out of the woodwork. No-one really seemed interested in the facts of the matter, though -- just that he'd fired a board member while he was out-of-country with his gay lover.

That really could have gone better.

Then there had been an emergency at his newly-acquired textile factory at the edge of Metropolis. Apparently the previous owner had been 'acquiring' workers of his own, in the form of illegal immigrants, then chaining them up on a hidden subfloor and forcing them to work in the drug trade. Lex hadn't known about the operation, nor that it was still ongoing, as that floor along with the two levels above it had been completely blocked off from the rest of the factory for years; it was only accessible from outside. One of the League's new superfriends had apparently tracked it down, though, and gotten into a real fight with the Intergang crew manning it, to an explosive end that had punched up into his factory. His security staff had had a hell of a time getting all of his personnel out, keeping the whole building from collapsing inwards, subduing the fight, and taking care of the illegals -- getting them settled and handed over to the authorities, that was, not mob-style.

And then Superman had come by and yelled at him about the illegal operation going on literally underfoot and his business association with a mob boss. It was wholly undeserved.

The rainstorm that came out of nowhere on the way back to work -- damn Weather Wizard anyway, couldn't he keep to his Central City turf and stick to annoying Impulse or the Flash or whatever he was calling himself this week like he was supposed to?! -- thoroughly drenched him and left about a foot of standing water in his convertible before he could get the top up.

He knew he was supposed to be a better man than this now, but he was in a mood -- rightfully so -- and he felt that he really just should not let certain things slide. After a shower -- like he'd needed to get more wet -- and a change of clothes, he'd spent nearly an hour in the LexCorp Plaza labs trying to decide between the Kryptonite Ray Mark XII or the Gooey Grenade of Doom (and who he was going to use which on first) before he realized he was too tired and it was too late to really put in a good effort that evening anyway, and just gave up for the night.

And now he was at home, alone in the penthouse, except for a lone birthday cake sitting willfully in the center of his kitchen. It was pink. There was no note.

He knew it had to be a birthday cake because it had candles on top. But this should not be! It went against all logic and reason that this... thing... should be sitting on his kitchen counter.

Lex reached out a finger and snagged a bit of icing. Cautiously tasted it. Frowned. Strawberry rhubarb? Underneath was what looked like chocolate cake.

This was not what he had wanted on his birthday.

Grumpily, he got himself a glass of milk and a fork, and dug in.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He sat back and covered a hiccup with one hand. He was halfway through the cake and two glasses of milk and really should stop. There must have been some sort of liquor mixed in, for the slow warmth he was feeling right now. Either that, or the giddiness accompanying it spoke to the extreme sugar rush to which he was no longer accustomed. Maybe both.

All right, the cake _was_ nice, if a little odd, he'd admit it. Just not to anyone else.

He heard a slight rush of air, and shortly thereafter Superman was tapping at his penthouse window.

Lex sighed, got up, walked over, and unlocked the window.

Superman glided in, frowning. "Luthor--" he started.

Lex came close to growling at him. "You change first, I'm not talking to you in that-- oh no. No no no." Kal-El had changed into his Clark-Kent-Intrepid-Yet-Stuttering-Reporter outfit between one blink and the next. "You are _not_ going out again--"

"Lex..."

"It's my birthday, damnit!"

Clark sighed. "I know, but we talked about this--"

"No, we didn't!" Lex had a very good memory, thank you. He hadn't been concussed or neurotoxin-smeared in _ages_.

"--two weeks ago, about the Pulitzer Dinner tonight and how I couldn't get out of it because of what happened the last time Lois went without a formal escort to dog her heels and keep her out of trouble--"

Oh yes, Lex remembered that event. Lane had been on _fire_. She'd tried to lay into him when getting her award at the podium, and it had gotten so bad that even the event organizer had joined in the effort to drag her back to her table. Once she'd finally gotten back and sat down next to her partner -- his unofficial date -- he'd managed to 'accidentally' knock one of the candles flying with his fork just so. It was a brilliant maneuver that he still felt proud of, and much more difficult than those trick pool shots he'd perfected over the years with Clark. It was one of the reasons he'd decided to uninvite himself from all future reporter-prizing events. And why they didn't allow open flames on the tables at the conference center anymore, he thought with a mental evil grin. Lex loved it when people changed the rules just for him.

"--and that we'd celebrate all weekend instead to make up for it?"

Well, celebrating all weekend sounded like an ok compromise, it already being Friday, but he still didn't remember any sort of discussion...

Wait, two weeks ago, and something about reporting awards and postponement? Damn him, but his alien sex god knew better than to talk him into things when he was post-coital because...

"...You tend to say yes to things you want to say yes to, just not out loud?"

...and then call him on things when he didn't want him to. Some days he swore Clark was psychic.

"No, I'm not, I just know you." And with that, Clark pulled him over in a one-armed hug, kissed him lightly at the temple, and smiled down lovingly.

"Not really helping your argument," he groused, "And I'm still mad at you for messing up my birthday pie!" Lex ended hotly, choosing not to be assuaged so easily.

Clark frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"In my email -- which would have been in person if you were at home for more than five minutes--" Lex let that go though, he'd seen the news reports on Superman, he knew what he'd been up to, "I said I wanted a strawberry rhubarb _pie_ **or** a chocolate cake -- _not_ an unholy mixture of the two."

"Huh? But..." Superman frowned. "I could have sworn..."

"Did you even _read_ my email?" Lex demanded.

"Uh..."

Lex twitched. "You _didn't_ even _read_ my _email?!?_ " he yelled. He clenched his fists and advanced on him.

"No! Wait, hold on!" Clark began, raising both hands in supplication and backing up a step, two steps. "I was... that... --Egypt! And the sand monster! I got it while I was handling that. Tess read it to me over the comm link," he supplied, thinking fast and remembering.

Lex stopped and stared. Then forced himself to take a deep breath and try those stupid calming exercises that Clark had taught him that he'd discovered actually worked, to his annoyance at the time. 'Clark is not my _enemy_ ,' he reminded himself, 'he is my _nemesis_. My very sexy nemesis. _Mine_.' Clark had a photographic memory, but this hadn't been something he'd seen, it was something he'd heard, so it wasn't out of the question that he'd not been able to remember with his usual speed. Clark was not the type of person just to mess with him over something like this. They were past the lies now. There was surely a logical explanation--

"And, uh... Oh. Maybe the signal on the link blinked out for a second in the middle. I _was_ out in the middle of nowhere."

See? Perfectly logical explanation for strawberry rhubarb... chocolate cake.

Either that, or there hadn't been a problem with the link and Tess had simply relayed it wrong on purpose, and he may need to revise his hit list to The Death Ray Version 23 and one Tess Mercer. And even if there had been a problem with the link, it was her responsibility to keep the system working at all times, and she'd patently refused to give him a comm device -- otherwise, he could've contacted Clark himself. It was still a sticking point and he couldn't believe that she was being so petty about that stab wound, that had been ages ago. What kind of Luthor was she, anyway? It wasn't like he'd _shot_ her, or anything.

It didn't matter that the end result had turned out tasting ok, she'd messed with his cake. And it had been pink. He owed her an introduction to a Weapon Of Doom at some point in the near future. And Clark being all sexy wasn't going to distract him into forgetting this time, either. Not this time.

"Leeex?" Clark asked tentatively, inching towards him.

"Fine, fine." Lex gave in. He had no reason to continue to be mad with _Clark_ , after all. "But I do get a proper pie later, right?"

"Sure," Clark grinned, relaxing. "I could make you both? One for each day?"

Lex pretended to consider it. That he got a grin and was pulled into a close hug indicated that his poker face with Clark hadn't gotten any better recently. He'd probably be putting more effort into working on it if the disincentives weren't so great.

Clark leaned his head down slightly and added lowly into Lex's ear, "And when I get home tonight, we can have dessert."

Lex shivered.

Clark pulled back slightly, then tilted Lex's head up and slowly, boldly, met his lips for a warm, soft kiss. Lex melted into Clark as Clark's embrace became closer and all-encompassing.

"Something to look forward to?" Lex said breathlessly, after Clark had finished and reluctantly straightened and the room came back.

Clark grinned and vanished.

Lex harrumphed and closed -- but did not lock -- the penthouse window gently. 'Easy come, easy go,' Lex thought. But he was comforted by the thought, knowing that his alien lover would always come back to him, even when he seemed to leave. It was their Destiny, after all.

And he certainly wasn't arguing.

THE END

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> AN2: I realize in retrospect this piece might mirror [this fic](http://alatrific.livejournal.com/30876.html) by [tallihensia](http://tallihensia.livejournal.com) a bit too much, which I read not too long ago. Argh. Sorry about that, wasn't my intent ^_^;;


End file.
